The movie “Bad Moms”, to me, was very inspiring. If you haven’t seen it, make sure you do! It is a movie about a mom’s struggle with juggling her kids, her career, and her home life. She tries so hard to be the “perfect mom” but eventually decides to become a “bad mom.”
I know, I know… you are probably thinking, “Why would becoming a ‘bad mom’ be inspiring?” Of course, me aspiring to be a “bad mom” is not the case, exactly, but rather a mom that is able to juggle life and not feel obligated to do it all perfectly. The concept of this movie brings out what all moms feel… guilt, fatigue, judgment, worthlessness… but we don’t have to feel that way!
It is okay to want a night away from your kids, it’s okay to admit that you can’t wait to go back to work after a long break, and it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes and do something great for yourself! We are still people with goals, aspirations, and desires. Our children are definitely the most important part of our lives, but they are not our entire lives.
- Make a list of things that you have wanted to do for yourself, but just “have not had the time.” This list can include your goals for education, self-discovery, relationship, career, health, and parenthood (too).
- Next, create a list of “sub goals” that will help you reach the BIG goals… Be sure to actually write these down!! (Research shows that writing down your goals increases your chances of achieving them).
- Post your goals somewhere you see everyday… the bathroom mirror, the fridge, etc.
**It may also be helpful to include a “goal date” in which define the approximate date you want to achieve your defined goal.
Now, the key is to actually follow through with the goals… without feeling guilt, fatigue, judgment, or worthlessness. This is a mindset—know that your children don’t mind if you “slack off” a little here and there, know that it is okay to continue to work toward personal goals (no need to put them on hold for your children), and know that it is okay to take a (much needed) break for yourself!
Other “bad moms”
I came across this wonderful article from Forbes discussing parental guilt. I could relate to the article to a T (even the Catholic guilt comment). She also spoke of her graduate studies as she was working toward a career change (a little eerie…) The author goes on to discuss 5 ways to embrace the “bad moms” concept and the importance of focusing on being a loving, role model (not a guilt-filled, always worrying momma)… read the article here.
Remember to make time for yourself and your goals, although it may seem impossible to include yet another thing in your already busy schedule, it is important to be a little selfish. Love your kids, love your life, love yourself!
**I dedicate this post to my lovely sister, who inspired me to write it. Always remember that you are doing a great job, momma! I love you!